The Curious.

I remember the same young boy

Who lost his childhood playing with his toy

Running around it all the while…even tired he still smiled

Picked it up and tore it down; suddenly the smile changed into a  frown

I wonder what killed his joy…just a toy ..why did he destroy?

He used to admire the snow-capped mountain

Urge of climbing it…was oozing like water from a fountain

It took him a week to reach the peak

Said he would cry…never wanted to reach here…but wished to touch the sky

He jumped!!…into the ground he bumped…had his head swollen like a hump

He kept looking it….agonised…could feel the thump

With time he grew old; only to become inquisitive and bold

Hunger to know more….came like a heavy downpour

It filled him so much…he could not see the  seashore

Swam to the bottom…would go a few more fathom

Went deep…..he drowned….he was really stubborn

Failed to keep the promise …he did not return

His mother once asked me…why he acted dubious?

I remember I told her ….he was just more than the curious.

The last day of my Life.

Sitting at the bottom of a gorge

Its pitch dark and I just have a partially lit torch

I feel like I am in a midst of chaos

I wish it could be a dream but I was rightly diagnosed

My Doc declared that tomorrow I would die

He said it’s too late…I wish I could give it a try

Next Morning….

Today was the last day of my life

I couldn’t hide…would say it all…after all she is my wife

Cynthia look, I am sorry I cheated…ahhh…it was an extra marital affair

I loved you always, still do…I should’nt’ve done that...it’s not fair

Decades of trust is broken like a vase which I can’t repair

I looked in her beautiful eyes…all I could read was despair

Then, I went onto see the old man…My Father

He never liked to give an ear…today he might rather

It was the time to open the book…to tell him his son was a big crook

I revealed the secret….he slapped and screamed…You corrupt!

I calm him down….showed the charity I did…but now I am bankrupt!

In the afternoon I visited the Church

I thought confessions would lead me to the perch

In god I may find solace, wisdom…it would end my search

 The pastor sprinkled the holy water…it washed away the entire smirch

 Evening…Suddenly…

The doctor stormed in screaming…it was wrongly reported-2!!

To hell… I wish I could have that white apron monkey deported

Doc, is this joke? I am all broke…

What would I say to my wife? She would hack me with her Jacknife

My Father would declare war on me…I can’t avert the strife……

I am done, I am gone…I am dead...tomorrow would be full of sorrow

Flood of truth has wiped all the hopes…it’s not but

I wish today would be the last day of my life…….

The Round About-1.

In my days... I was really brave

Now almost 80 and life has made me a slave

Would like to see my little princess just once before I go into the grave

Thought would never do it again but the rebels are at a gain

Sarah is not with me…this fact is aggravating my pain

I am a Russian who was born in Krakow

Never thought would deal in Topolov and Kalashnikov

For me it was business as usual…just arms dealing

But the wounds…even time said they are deep too for healing

I was amongst red in the war torn USSR

Though we won but forgot Stalin was our new Czar

We won everything…had all the land still there was no harmony

Swear by the creed…Money was my only need

I deceived the values from my family I received

But I was a Father too and to this fact; I had to pay the heed

So I decided to sell arms…it was the need that sowed the seed

I was amongst the richest within a few years

Earned so much…that richness and lavishness wiped all the tears

Seemed I had world at my feet…I conquered all the fears

Kremlin became my second home…Generals, Politicians, Diplomats were all so dears

I was so sure that one day I would raise a toast and make God to say cheers!  

But…………….

The Unspoken.

It took me almost a decade

To resurrect that dead feeling from my heart’s cascade

Allowed love to invade…I was ready to break the barricade

Nothing could have it dismayed cause

I dreamt a dream for 10 years….and all the while in it… only you stayed.

Now you are here..in front of me…can’t let you go..Can’t lose

In truest sense I know ha ha h aa...i am chasing a wild goose

In the courtroom of love…Judge Cupid remains stupid...I am the only accuse

In love…I am ought to speak out heart…can’t give a lame excuse

In the tempest of ambiguity…it’s certainly not a smooth cruise

Will I ever reach the shore of happiness?? My mind cajoles. Heart argues

On second thought and further this could be delayed

The Morse code of heart wants this message to be conveyed

And, if she would not listen... I would hold her tight...say it inveighed

I feel the adrenalin rush of emotions…can’t stop this crusade

Or Shall I just leave this on fate and let it persuade

To say it or not…I’ve been in a tug of war

You stand right next to me…I still find you more than far

I get startled when you ask me” How are you”?

Dare I say that Idiot! I really love you…

Could I say anything apart Fine!...you tell

The beast of passion wants to break free from the cell

I know a “No” from you will direct to the highway to hell

So….

I won’t go overboard and lose a friend…

As it would bring the strange voyage of togetherness to an end

Sailing in the seas in the boat of friendship

Being together but paddling my own Canoe is no less than a hardship…

In this whole Universe there are only two things I like

You, who is beautiful and the sun which shines really bright

But at the end of this illuminating tunnel… I do not see light.

No matter how much the feelings scream…I would prefer to keep quiet.

Clouds- Love, Phobia and despair.

Looking at the sky…lying on my terrace

My mind alarms me about this strange menace

It relaxes when I convince it saying it’s a canvas

On this canvas I see marred images…..they put in doubt

A smoke up there…they like, hates you…for me you are just a cloud.

Love…

She was standing droopy in her balcony…

A glance at you...brought smile on the face…..glitter in eyes…

She exulted… was about to Jump….You ended her melancholy…

Shouted at top of her voice…happiness oozed out ….”Rain”…she yelled….quite brusquely…

To her you brought rain…God uncorked the bottle… on her he poured ...the holy champagne…

She danced for hours…laughing….smiling…squawking…like a gypsy…I had to say Jane…Are you insane??

She replied, I am in love with you…Anupam….I am an old wine, would you be my Magnum??

Phobia…

To her you brought rain…God uncorked the bottle…but this time he poured pain…

She mended her wall lately….had a little hut by the river bank

You deceived her, back stabbed…..played a prank…

Though a hut…it was a palace to her…queen cried…begged…you ignored…swiped…had it sank

 I remember her prayer…Amen!  She said, but to you she did not thank…..

I hate the cloud and rain…Anupam…I nodded yes…I was aware of her problem….

Despair…

To her, you were supposed to bring rain…God uncorked the bottle… but he refrained

Waiting all the while…at last she saw the monsoon…She went crazy….it was too soon…

Gone May…came June…I could not recall a day when she did not look at the sky…waiting from morning till late afternoon.

You deceived her…hiding behind your own curtain…only to shower misfortune…

You were there all around but there was no rain…

 Left your imprint of a bloody DRY stain…

Finally it rained and she smiled ….

To her this time you brought freedom…. She liked you, hated you… but for me you are just a cloud…says Anupam.

Fall of the Rise.

A life without power..no prospect of power

Demands demise...

you fail to give a thought and doubt your wise

time stares at your face and sprinkle surprise

wind blows against you and whisper.... it is the Fall of the Rise.

When in power you can tame the time

People like it or not but they sing in your rhyme

Manipulate rules...law is there to justify your crime

were no one but now you are seen sublime...never second always prime.

Only success you want and rest get ignored

Everyone is inferior...who cares about the furore??

Destiny seems a student and you like to be a mentor

You ride on their haplessness...leaving them deplored

But as they say....

Time is the master of the game

Once your best friend now it has taken away that fame

No matter how much you proclaim...you can never get rid of this shame

How disgraceful...you are alive but no one even remember your name

The mire of fall pulls you inside....you cry........... you are lame.

I know its difficult to accept....you can't compromise

Your soul knocks the door like an unwanted pries

The wind was always blowing against you..you shouldn't be surprised

It came and whispered.......... it is the Fall of the Rise.

The White Crow.

On this sunny Sunday afternoon

I am sitting, pondering all alone in my room

It has taken over our lives deep and slow

We really can’t live without it…can we? We love the white crow.

I cannot recall a day when my thought did not stray

I always wanted to be black and white but it turned out be grey

Wish I could go back in time…make corrections…have it replay

But it would not let me…it’s the predator and I am a bird of prey

It’s really difficult to have a clean soul

Try my dear but how would you achieve your goal?

Even house arrest…it watches through the keyhole

No matter how hard you try…its presence is unacceptable but can you control?

Telling a lie and not admitting is so true…one can’t swallow

You walk straight never deviate….its your need you still follow

It’s a necessary evil…it’s in you…you don’t need to borrow

No matter how much you deny…you need it…you surrender…before it you bow.

It’s a bitter truth… We really can’t live without it…can we? Blame God but we really love the white crow.

The Great Depression.

Drove fast my Buick…was late so, had to be really quick

It was the black Tuesday, luck tripped…and I was given a pink slip

My heart stopped beating… I was filled with aggression

Before I could act…someone told ….world is under Pandemic of the Great Depression.

Andrew’s photo next to the window…reminds me he is dead and I am a war widow

With nothing left now, just 2 children…I decided to move to my homeland Britain.

Life is miserable…it’s such a pain…with no money; we cannot even board a plane.

This life is very constrained…my agony peaks when I think I need to start all over again.

Everyday I give an interview (but Fails)…..only to seek chances that are very few

I really want to move forward….but the wretched time is acting like a statue

They say everything will be alright…they day dream and their thought is so untrue

My loneliness kills me every second….there is no one to abuse…with whom should I argue... Do you have a clue?

I think of getting married again…I am still pretty, I can get a nice man but no one could be Andrew.

Bad fortune would chase me to the grave

Devil of depression rules the world and I feel like a slave

But I will fight back and I won’t hide in any cave

My Children are proud of their mother…they say she is really brave

What future holds for me? This thought is costing me dear

I am thoughtless…pillows get wet every night…my misery accompany them with lot of tears

My will keeps me afloat...it says….you won’t sink there should be no fear

I would do everything in my ability…I must win…my thought is crystal clear.

I swear to my children…I will chase away this bad Omen.

I cannot accept defeat…I am egoistic and a strong woman.

Would work hard all day…all night…in every season.

Would even plough rock…doesn’t matter if it’s barren

I wish to see my roses (Children) blossom…God will you help?

I want turn this desert into a Garden.

Otherwise. A nice guy.

I remember I gave his mother an advice.

You just cannot manipulate him with any device

I told her not twice but thrice…he is simple but someone who likes spice

Honest from heart, kind inside. To be precise

A really nice guy but otherwise…..

A few days ago, I attended his engagement…his parents made an incorrect judgment

Though he loves the girl but then she is just She…he doesn’t mind any provocative attention as long as it’s Free

She is his but now old…he is quite bold…so he went onto see another girl…erotic feelings he could not hold

He said it was a stroke of luck,just a stroke. He did not do anything wrong,just helped a girl who was really broke (ha ha ha).

One night stand is pretty justified…I gave her lot money…he said it with a smirk eventually cheating on his honey

I was not into contradiction..it was his sheer addiction…with a gentle vice

He is a nice guy I know but otherwise…

One day I saw his father arguing with him, never saw the old man before in such a grim

A lot of cash was stolen…his room was ransacked…even the safe was broken

John love cars, girls, he likes fame…Old man was screaming at him…quite obvious is his blame.

He loves spending money in derby, a game that was introduced to him by his honey his fiancée Miss.Jane Kirby

Later he admitted… said he is a rookie… he lost all the money in derby……he was befooled by a bookie

Very clean, very clear….I must say honesty has no price

He is a genuine guy I should say but otherwise.

He has no bad habits other than drinking which he likes to get indulged in till his gait becomes swinging

Despite losing every time…likes to play poker…turns to bezique…people still call him a joker

In the same Casino at that night …he saw Miss. Kirby holding someone really tight

He could hardly talk,he could hardly walk..still went to the bar and said…give me a large…that too on the rocks!!

He turned around…shot her down…it brought end of his ugly showdown

I asked him why he did that…he replied hunk…I don’t know but I was too drunk…

Oh My God!! To my surprise ….to my horror

He said Miss. Kirby was holding him…He saw that in the mirror

How can someone be so honest?? How? I remember I gave his mother an advice.

She loves her son too much…considered him wise...

That makes me say he is honest, kind, genuine guy………….. but otherwise.

The Robbery.

I am blinking…cannot bear this strangle

My head is distorted at an awful angle

Body is roped…hands are cuffed

Feet are shackled with a big iron bangle...

Its paining….I am losing my breath

Oh….I can’t do anything…someone please avert my death

What is going on…I don’t understand…what the heck!!

Only now I recall…I was sentenced to be hanged by the neck.

What is my crime?? Everything was fine…

My name is jack and I am a thief…she was Cathy and we were involved in a mischief

It is a long story my reader …let me tell you in short…in brief.

We were in the city of Amsterdam…..with nothing to lose and execute a plan

We decided to rob a bank…even the name was The Rabobank.

I don’t think we did anything insane…we just followed the name. (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha).

We memorized the city’s map…to ensure we would not fall prey in any trap

Under the shiny bright sun…I took the delivery of the guns

Everything was perfect….everything was alright….our confidence was at its peak…we decided the day to be tonight.

Cathy did not want to die in such a young age

Come on darling….have me...I am all yours…said she…showing off her cleavage

Libido was in control.I had no interest in sex…but the lust in her eyes turned me to a T-Rex.

I told her…we got to get the money…we’ll spend our life in southern France…just hold on my honey.

With her blood red eyes and an angry frown…she said we are going now…it was too early I gave a thumbs-down

I said ok lets go...it was one big mistake….all we were going to do was to put our lives at stake.

Around 6…we reached the bank...there were lot of cops to welcome us…I guess someone played a prank.

I was zapped completely blank…I took out my six-shooter and shot three...Bang bang bang!!

Christ sake...Cathy screamed…please stop!!…shut the bloody hell up I said ...Just open up the lock.

There were three cops…bloody dogs!!...I killed em all….just to ensure there is no further block.

I never wanted to kill anyone…but I was not worried…it was all about money….it was all about greed.

Why do I need Cathy…even she must die…she is unwanted…she is a weed.

I looked at her and shot her down…she fell…and there goes Cathy as a Lady wrapped in a black gown.

Destiny had its own saying...the chase begun and begun the ugly countdown.

Never to run in a cop’s car…a lesson I was not taught

They surrounded me …I smiled …it was the end…I was caught.

They took me to the jail…even Cathy was dead….to get me out on bail.

Cathy was not Cathy…..she was Florence…I could not bear that fact…it was beyond my tolerance.

I was charged for murders and a theft of 5 Million Euros…case was filed by Florence (My Cathy) of Investigation Bureau.

What is going on…I don’t understand…what the heck!!

Only now I recall…I was sentenced to be hanged by the neck.

14th February.

I know the lines below make no sense…

Let me be drowned in your love… let me be a nuisance.

I keep saying again and again…to fall in love is no offence

Love is a passion and

Passion is the only weapon for which you need no license

On this Valentine’s Day…

I only have one thing to say...

Whenever I think of you...

Old becomes gold…and I feel brand new…

Your advice…your suggestion…ends the entire rancor

In the moments of distress…your smile acts like an anchor (gives support)

Your smile….. It’s just so beautiful…You deserve no less than a Maybach 62…you are my queen after all

I am pretty good at many things but unfortunately I am not a banker.

You are in my every thought…leave one …please spare

I’ve refrained myself …I have lot many things to share...

Can’t get you out of my mind….you…your eyes…your hair

Don’t get angry …please…ok do if you like…but let me tell you….you look damn cute even when you stare.

You stay far away…I know we can’t meet...

I wish I could sprint all the way down to your country...but I am no athlete…

A thought of you my mind feeds on like the loveliest treat…

And after that lovely feast…it often asks me…why your sweetheart is so sweet??

Oh she is my Queen…I do not say that…says my heartbeat.

Your hair….and that side parting…

Only adds more beauty….makes you look more charming

Your smile….your cute dimple

                                                                                                                    

Makes my complicated life really simple

Your brown eyes….and that razor sharp look.

Makes me forget my own poetry…but miss gorgeous on you… I’ll write a book.

Your small little nose and those pink lips

Makes you a perfect idol I like to worship

Only now I have realized…you are not you

But you are me…my integral part…and that is why I like you…

My heart and its beat chant your name….Stella, Mary, Jenny, Natasha, Lo Quisha

No no no my Lady…even the heartbeats my heart skip…reminds me

That she is not the one…but the most special one

who else it could be…its you Tousha!!

Love,angst and Agony- 2.

Living the present....

Gone are those beautiful days of love

When I used tie the letters on claws of my dove

Black days are here again..they make me feel jittery.

please don't ask what happened??

this question adds more to my Misery.             

After a few days she got engaged

left me all alone....enraged

her thought makes me feel outraged

its not easy to forget her..I am stuck.. caged.

I never expected this ugly turn

read her letters everyday....should have them burn

and if I really do that, would keep the ashes safe in an urn

I need to live without her.....its a difficult lesson but I have to learn

This situation has left me a little leisure

Oh baby! Please come back  you are my ultimate pleasure

Your moves, your talks, your pauses your memories were more than a treasure

The bug of you is crawling across my mind…this pain is impossible to measure

Love was a great journey but it’s the end of the ride

I don’t want to live anymore

I want to escape..want to hide

I cannot handle this agony..I think I must commit  suicide

She is no longer with me…it gives me a jolt

 I Must die now...........

I checked the safe..unlocked everything …removed every bolt

But bloody hell!!

Where is my good old colt??

All of a sudden I feel a shake

I pray its not an earthquake

Opened my eyes…my mommy is shouting  at me.... wake up..for Christ sake!!

Its 10 in the morning…get up.... be awake!!

Oh holy Christ..it was a dreammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

But a fantastic movie with beautiful scenes

I am distracted with this strange knock

I looked at the door ten past ten shows my wall clock

I see a bouquet of red roses and a pink umbrella

With a card on it ..reads My name was “Stella”.

Confused!

Love,angst and Agony- 1.

Recalling the Past....

Its eclipsed...Sun is not blazing

Its drizzling and I am waiting

for her to come out

She may not turn up...I am in doubt

I am enjoying this game of waiting but don't want to hear Time out!

Its getting dark..all black throughout

I can see her finally...under a pink umbrella

She smiled at me and slowly uttered My name is Stella.

We know each other through a common friend

we hardly speak but like each other...

so the time has come to share our feelings and bring the silence to an end

She is talkative ..I am not but atleast I can pretend

Finally I asked what are you doing this weekend?

Nothing she said..but asked why?

I replied...want to take you out...we have a luncheon to attend

but it is for couples ..So ....ahhhh.. So..ammmm..will you be my girlfriend??

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.......I proposed her.

Its crazy...but its really nice....

No if she says I may lose her..I will pay a heavy price

And to my suprise

She said Yes....And it ended my distress.

Suddenly our romance has become talk of the town

without her I used to be a clown

but I am a king now among my friends and she is my crown

I am flying high on this romantic flight and never want to see down.

We talk hours over the phone

 All day all night...till it fatigues the tongue and hurts the jawbone

make promises to each other..come what may

we will stay together..do anything but to be alone

Our parents may not like this..they may throw us out...have us disown

but it does'nt really matter now

And if it happens..we will be happy.. we won't groan..we won't groan

Our love is for ever...our love is supreme...it wil be alive even in our graves

We are so sure...I Love you forever!! will read our tombstone.

But...................................................................................................................................................................................................