Love,angst and Agony- 2.

Living the present....

Gone are those beautiful days of love

When I used tie the letters on claws of my dove

Black days are here again..they make me feel jittery.

please don't ask what happened??

this question adds more to my Misery.             

After a few days she got engaged

left me all alone....enraged

her thought makes me feel outraged

its not easy to forget her..I am stuck.. caged.

I never expected this ugly turn

read her letters everyday....should have them burn

and if I really do that, would keep the ashes safe in an urn

I need to live without her.....its a difficult lesson but I have to learn

This situation has left me a little leisure

Oh baby! Please come back  you are my ultimate pleasure

Your moves, your talks, your pauses your memories were more than a treasure

The bug of you is crawling across my mind…this pain is impossible to measure

Love was a great journey but it’s the end of the ride

I don’t want to live anymore

I want to escape..want to hide

I cannot handle this agony..I think I must commit  suicide

She is no longer with me…it gives me a jolt

 I Must die now...........

I checked the safe..unlocked everything …removed every bolt

But bloody hell!!

Where is my good old colt??

All of a sudden I feel a shake

I pray its not an earthquake

Opened my eyes…my mommy is shouting  at me.... wake up..for Christ sake!!

Its 10 in the morning…get up.... be awake!!

Oh holy Christ..it was a dreammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

But a fantastic movie with beautiful scenes

I am distracted with this strange knock

I looked at the door ten past ten shows my wall clock

I see a bouquet of red roses and a pink umbrella

With a card on it ..reads My name was “Stella”.

Confused!

Love,angst and Agony- 1.

Recalling the Past....

Its eclipsed...Sun is not blazing

Its drizzling and I am waiting

for her to come out

She may not turn up...I am in doubt

I am enjoying this game of waiting but don't want to hear Time out!

Its getting dark..all black throughout

I can see her finally...under a pink umbrella

She smiled at me and slowly uttered My name is Stella.

We know each other through a common friend

we hardly speak but like each other...

so the time has come to share our feelings and bring the silence to an end

She is talkative ..I am not but atleast I can pretend

Finally I asked what are you doing this weekend?

Nothing she said..but asked why?

I replied...want to take you out...we have a luncheon to attend

but it is for couples ..So ....ahhhh.. So..ammmm..will you be my girlfriend??

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.......I proposed her.

Its crazy...but its really nice....

No if she says I may lose her..I will pay a heavy price

And to my suprise

She said Yes....And it ended my distress.

Suddenly our romance has become talk of the town

without her I used to be a clown

but I am a king now among my friends and she is my crown

I am flying high on this romantic flight and never want to see down.

We talk hours over the phone

 All day all night...till it fatigues the tongue and hurts the jawbone

make promises to each other..come what may

we will stay together..do anything but to be alone

Our parents may not like this..they may throw us out...have us disown

but it does'nt really matter now

And if it happens..we will be happy.. we won't groan..we won't groan

Our love is for ever...our love is supreme...it wil be alive even in our graves

We are so sure...I Love you forever!! will read our tombstone.

But...................................................................................................................................................................................................

2194 Days- The Soldier- I (Germany)

A sense of defeat

has shackled my feet

I remember he told us do anything

to everything but retreat.

I am fighting in waters at the beaches of Normandy

with the holster full of grenades

and a rifle as my arm candy

I am in hell….

can’t even enjoy  my brandy

I am stuck..War is like mire

in which irrespective of your desire

You need to put on this awful attire (of Courage)

And smile even when you stand in the line of fire.

I remember my days in Berlin

She used to smile ..when I played Beethoven on my violin

Danced in the evening and spent that night at the Berg’s inn

There is no point recalling..i buried all her memories deep in my heart’s coffin.

Gone are those days

When every day’s dust used to look like golden haze

Life was simple unlike today’s maze

I was full of zest but now dead is my craze.

A swastika printed cloth is my hind arm band

reminds me I am fighting for the Fatherland

 thought we had destiny under our command

Victory is slipping away from my hand

defeat is something we cannot stand

Millions followed him…me too…was part of the band.

He…..our leader..our saviour

His influence was not only in Germany…but far beyond..much greater

We can’t leave you….guide us..make us victor

but now we are retreating…my mind is in ambiguity

How long it would last….will it ever end?

I’ve lost my family, lost my friends..

My mind is in ambiguity..will I ever get to see her?

It gets convinced..when I say..its not for me, not for the Fatherland,its not even for her

Its for him….he is the bearer

It’s the game he started  to hear his people chanting….

Heil my Führer.. Heil my Führer!!

Is there any future?...please tell me..please 

Please tell him there is no future

I wish I could get executed but

We've only seen a decade of reign...

1000 years looks a big joke My Führer!!

The Agitated Part-III

I am at the shore….

All alone..a  lone soul with emptiness in galore..

To get out of this ugly dream..i need to find a door.

I think I’ve found one…but time is committing a crime..

The door is locked…my  mind is blocked

I am locked inside my own dream….

I can’t  do much but scream…

If I knew this would happen..I would’nt have slept

I wish i.. could have it foreseen

Arrgghh..i wish i could break it open..but i am tooo old to be a teen

I only have my patience as my partner…my team

The Agitated Part-II

I am at the edge of the waterfall…

the current is pushing and the gravity is pulling...

can’t challenge nature but its my life.... its my call…

I am just trying to stand tall... in my downfall

I am jumping off the boat..

wish I could swim but I am no toad...

I wrest in this eternal quest...
I am drowning ...

water is percolatting down into my chest

I have to clear this test ...

I know i am not at my best....
my limbs are tired..I need some rest.

I am drowning...

 

i do not want to die...my heart cries....it says just give it a try..

i know i can't swim anymore..

but..but i need to be at the shore

i want to live..its a huge task...not an ordinary chore.

Agitated Part-I

Might has taken a dip

Did everything in ability but somehow lost the grip

Used to stand tall like a huge tower

Feeling stuck, hapless with no power

With almost everything looks impossible now

I see revolution as need of the hour..

Limitations agonizes me…

It develops rile…

It looks like a Mystery

But it cannot deter my confidence.

My thought is crystal clear

I never like to enjoy the game

..I always play for Victory.